It is probably hard to believe that it has already been this long since your loved one died. And, sometimes, it seems like yesterday. You probably feel that most intensely on birthdays, holidays or anniversaries. You may have now, with real intensity, feelings of depression, disorganization and guilt. Physically, you may be losing or gaining weight, having headaches, having increased susceptibility to colds and other illness, having difficulty with sleep and perhaps feel very tired. This may be an especially good time to have a physical exam.
You may also be having trouble making routine decisions and be especially aware of your own failures, whether real or imaginary. You may even have thoughts of suicide. Much in your life may seem pointless or worthless. Again, this is natural and a part of the self-healing process of grief. Your feeling and experiencing these things is nature’s way of slowing you down. Also, though we may believe God forgives us, it is often difficult to forgive ourselves. You do have a right to be here and you are worthy of other’s love and concern. Don’t be disturbed if you are questioning your faith, talk about it. Faith, for many, offers help to accept that which seems unacceptable.